Thursday, April 22, 2010

Heaven is a place on earth

This post is an open call to all christians. Grab your bibles, learn to read, and find me some information. Because I have empirical evidence for the existence of Heaven.

The other day, I was reading a few parts of the bible, in order to better understand the christians I have been talking with, when I noticed something intriuging. Upon reading it, I instantly went outside, and there above me was Heaven. I was dumbstruck. Here's why:

I have read the bible, and as far as I can tell, "Heaven" is nothing more than the sky. Right smack on page 1 it points this out, though not as clearly as I would like. Gen 1:1, "In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth." This can be interpreted as God created Earth, in a base form, as well as heaven, including the kingdom of heaven. This is however disspelled later in Genisis 1:20, "And God said, 'Let the waters swarm with swarms of living creatures, and let birds fly across the expanse of the heavens'."

God either exists in the sky, hidden from view somehow, or exists outside reality, yet in the same vicinity of the sky. The latter is more likely, considering we've not observed god in any way. This also means that God doesn't exist. Consider that all within reality is in existance. That would make them real, hence the term Reality. Now, God exists outside reality. It follows that everything outside of reality is also outside of existance. If something is outside existance, it doesn't exist. I can't concieve of a Half-existant being, unless it exists solely in the minds of people.

But I digress. I have read, and have come to the conclusion that when people die, they are judged and sentenced to hell, or to wait until judgement day, when God will create the holy city, New Jerusalem, where he will live amongst His people, wipe tears from there eyes, despite the fact that there is no grief, no sorrow, no sin. It will be devided into different tribes, so that different peoples may worship God in various ways. It doesn't say eternal life, but it does say that Hell is the second death. Although, I guess Second Death is only for perverts, murderers, liars, cowards, traitors, witches, idol worshipers, and the immoral. That sentence leads me to believe that murder, perverted actions, cowardliness, lying, witchcraft, trechory and worshiping idols are moral, because whilst they are thrown into hell, they're thrown in with the immoral.

It should have read "...and all other immoral souls", or something similar. I guess a backstabbing necrophiliac who lies about the spellshe casts is just as moral as you or me, but they go to hell, where as we go to.... a place of second life, where god didn't fuck up the world. I still have questions though.

1) If God can create this fantastic place (which will come down from heaven, but isn't heaven), why didn't he do it to start with?
2) If God is perfect, why would he need to "try again" as it were?
3) Why does God need a throne, if he is a sky man, who feels that the rich should burn in hell?
4) What makes you think that you'll pass God's many petty tests?
5) If I follow the important comandments, with the exception of worshiping God, would I go to the New Holy City?

While these questions may or may not be difficult to answer, the final question should be easy.

If God told you to kill a child, would you do it?

If you answered yes to this last question, let me suggest 2 courses of action. 1, kill yourself before you hurt others. 2, Check yourself into a mental hospital, before you start hearing voices.

Heaven exists, just go outside and look up. There it is. What christians call heaven is actually a place that will probably fuck up after a little while. God is either infallible and evil, or He is fallible but well intentioned. Or mabe, just maybe, He doesn't exist at all.

Christians reading this, could you please tell me if I'm mistaken about Heaven, and how so. Answer my questions, if you can, and justify them. This is a humble request, though, I don't expect any christian answers.

Fui fides tantum in testimonium.


  1. What if my idea of heaven is someone elses idea of hell? and visa versa. Like the south park episode where heaven was full of mormons singing songs and making crap out of egg cartons. I rather be in hell if that is the case.

  2. In the context of South Park, Hell would be fun. It's hardly any torture, and satan is a bitch.